The story begins as they usually do, with mad scientists competing against each other with their latest breakthroughs. Adalbertus Aloysius Kalkstein was a master alchemist, honorary chairman of the Alchemists, Geomancers, and Pyromancers Club, and rival of the Oxenfurt Inventors’ Club. And this fierce rivalry made him ask himself: “What can I do to be remembered for ages, to overshadow experiments of the Oxenfurt school?”.
He knew that only a big breakthrough could save him from the wrath of Radovid and The Eternal Fire or even being burned alive on a stake as other alchemists had, last week on the main square of Novigrad. He felt the mythical Sword of Damocles over his head every day, never knowing if it will be his last. Such risks bring forth the biggest discoveries.
He was very interested in anything alchemical or unnatural. Unfortunately recently some witcher named Geralt refused him in examining the witcher’s body after his death. That made Kalkstein’s previous ideas of creating improved witchers in the future impossible.
But then, Riff Raff enters the story, the faithful helper of master Kalkstein. He whispered ideas from far away lands such as Zerrikania, where alchemists are experimenting about not only reviving subjects, but creating life itself. Kalkstein, the dedicated scientist became extremely fascinated by that idea. It would make him the most important alchemist in the continent. And it wasn’t a totally new topic to him, as he already created a golem in the past. But creating new life, it was something extraordinary.
He started preparations for an experiment, sent his faithful minions after the books and ingredients. Some could say that both Magenta and Columbia were dressed very unusual for Novigradians, but the main factor for them choosing these clothes was not the look, but rather the resistance they had to magic and alchemical ingredients. And to be honest they stood very close to Kalkstein so their appearance wasn’t ever questioned.
Magenta was sent to Zerrikania for new books about Transmutation and Metamorphoses methods, such as “Recipe of transmutation“, “Double Cross of Alzur” and “Vampires: Facts and Myths”.
Columbia was sent for a little drop of Wolfsbane, Black Blood, Sangreal, Thaw, and a book about Hanmarvyn’s Blue Dream – a taboo ritual that allows creating mind and memories that most mages refuse to do.
After days of studying the latest discoveries from the far lands and preparing the various ingredients, the experiment began.
In the beginning, Kalkstein used parts of unfortunate folk killed by drowners in swamps near the village.
The created body was called Eddie “resembled being alive” however didn’t walk or talk and an extremely fast process of aging occurred. Kalkstein knew that he can’t wait any more and invited rival alchemists from the Oxenfurt Academy to watch his success.
Unfortunately, when they finally arrived at Kalkstein’s house, the body was already in a very bad shape, they had to test it if it’s really alive. The results weren’t positive. In the last test, the body was under so much pressure that it blew up and the pieces covered everyone in the room. The public opinion on this experiment was so terrible that Kalkstein was compared to the infamous Frankenstein from downtown Vizima.
But this didn’t discourage Kalkstein in his efforts. A few weeks after that last failure, part of Eddie’s body was “alive”. His heart was still pumping blood, hands were randomly grabbing things. He knew that he was on the right track. But he was not the type of person who spins the Wheel of Fortune, he went back to the first experiment and checked what might go wrong step-by-step. He improved his equipment, he even had to sell a few of his old books to invest money in ingredients of the best quality.
Then he started experiment number two. This time he didn’t use parts of dead men, but generated a whole body similar to how vampires regenerate parts that are cut off. The amount of potions he had to use was so high that at the end of the experiment, his laboratory was engulfed in black and red smoke.
And this is how Rocky was created. Not mutated like witchers. Not resurrected by black magic. But created from scratch by knowledge and science.
He was created with a perfect body and light hair. With muscles even the Witchers would be ashamed of. This time the body of Kalkstein’s creation didn’t age or fall apart.
Years later, Kalkstein’s servants claimed that this moment was A Time Warp, since for a moment, this event seemed to have disappeared from time and space.
And then out of nowhere aliens appeared from the galaxy called “Transylvania”.
They were alarmed by Kalkstein’s experiments.
“Your experiments are too extreme. We cannot let earthlings become so advanced, skipping thousands years of evolution. We need to end this madness.”
They summoned a 6 headed Monster, a gigantic entity, in shape that was a mix of an octopus, and a dragon. The monster rushed in Kalkstein’s direction, destroying his laboratory with each of his moves.
At the last moment, Kalkstein was shielded by Rocky, he was only seven hours old, but he decided to save his creator. Rocky bravely challenged the monster. Unfortunately, the monster was too strong, its poison melting away all of Rocky’s skin, leaving only his eyeballs intact in their sockets, looking at his maker with a mixture of love and horror.
After witnessing Rocky’s death the aliens decided that their work is done and that way of things had been restored. “Failed Experiment“. This is how they titled their report. They turned on the laser transit beam and went back to their planet, burning the rest of Kalkstein’s notes in the process. The aliens looked back on the planet they left and said…
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This is an Unofficial fanfic story
An unofficial fan work created under the Gwent Fan Content Guidelines.
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Story and event is paying homage to Rocky Horror Picture Show. We highly recommend checking adaptations of this musical in movies and theaters.